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Positive Parenting Solutions
RightTime KiDS is committed to providing ongoing education for our employees and Positive Parenting Solutions is our resource for positive adult and child interaction training.
We have made an investment in your children by requiring every RightTime KiDS employee to complete the acclaimed Positive Parenting Solutions online course.
RightTime KiDS encourages parents to join the thousands of moms and dads who describe the Positive Parenting Solutions course as “life changing.”
If you want to reduce your parenting stress and learn EFFECTIVE tools that teach you how to uncover the root cause of misbehavior and implement step-by-step solutions to correct tantrums, not listening, whining, dawdling, back talk, sibling rivalry, and more – then Positive Parenting Solutions is for you.
The online course allows you to learn at your own pace and on your own schedule. The state of the art online training features Web 2.0 technology and high quality HD. See for yourself why parents and RightTime KiDS teachers RAVE about Positive Parenting Solutions:
Learn More About Positive Parenting Solutions.
What Really Matters
Source: Bodie Brizendine, Head of School, The Spence School, New York, September 2010.
Five years ago, when my daughter was getting married, her father gave the welcoming message at the wedding dinner. After thanking the guests for coming, he asked our daughter to stand up. She did so with joy and a certain glow around her. “Beth,” he asked, “do you doubt that your parents love you?” “Not at all,” she asserted. “And do you feel well-educated?” “Yes,” she exclaimed with alacrity. “Then,” he answered with a slight pause, “we did our job,” and he stopped talking.
Now as we greet a new school year, I’m remembering these beautiful and stunningly simple words, and they make me want to begin the school year with asking you all to do what I know is very difficult: parse down the many pieces of raising young girls to what really matters – finding, out of the small, the large.
I realize that this discernment may be the hardest of all parenting nuances, and I realize that my looking back holds a special vantage point not yet enjoyed by all. There are, however, ways to think about what really matters as you move from that first day of Kindergarten to that first day of senior year with all the other mornings, noons and nights thrown in.
There is a collection of letters between mothers and daughters called Between Ourselves that I have long cherished, and I recommend it as a rich source of stories about holding back, one of the first steps towards deciding what really matters.
In this book, one mother uses a metaphor that has stayed with me for a long time. She compares parenting to the management of the net for the trapeze artist. Pulling the net too taut means that your child, when falling, might bounce away forever; leaving it too slack, however, can do irreparable harm.
The trick, then, is to measure between perpetual management and stepping in only when absolutely needed. Personally, I try hard to let five things go each day that do not need my engagement. Even though my personal best so far is four, it is miraculous how well things can go without me.
Another option is to keep the focus away from any perceived judgment. A friend of mine gave me a wonderful alternative for the proverbial, “How did you do on the test today?” question or the, “Did you and Sally make up from your argument?” inquiry. She recommended casting your questions into more of the neutral zone by asking, “What observations did you make about the test?” and “what do you notice about your friendship with Sally?” As small a change as this sounds, it really does allow your children to hunker down with the bigger ideas and without the usual defensiveness or fear of being wrong or not good enough. It allows you to have the conversations that really matter, the conversations you intended all along.
Finally, in honoring the big picture, we need to make sure we don’t mistake moments for finish lines. Clara Spence had it right: learning is for life and not just for school. On one level there’s a world of difference between taking a little girl to her first day of Kindergarten, helping her to find the room, her desk, her space and taking a young woman to her first college dorm room, carrying sheets, boxes, extra food and all the rest.
Yet, on another level, they are much the same. Each is a threshold along a very long road and each is a step they must take on their own – with you not front and center, but behind them. The friendship bumps, the grades you don’t brag about, the student elections not won are not parking places, but pit stops for refueling or changing tires, and here again, you are part of the support crew, not the driver.
The truth of it is that what matters most is their ability to negotiate the world with knowledge, integrity and compassion. And this ability comes from the long haul, not the short; from the collective whole, not any of the parts.
Recognizing, too, that these wonderful beings we call our children are, as Barbara Kingsolver says, “just a loan,” then our roles, rich as they may be, are by design only temporary. So in the midst of the day-to-day and as we begin this year together, think hard about what two questions you would ask your daughter much, much later down the road: seems to me that will tell you what really matters.
We asked Amy McCready, co-founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, nationally recognized parenting expert, and featured guest on The TODAY Show, “When is it the right time to assign my child specific responsibilities in the house?”
The answer may surprise you as (it did us!) but in the greater context of teaching a child responsibility, and empowering them to feel valued and necessary at all ages, McCready’s response makes perfect sense.
Click here to see an Age-By-Age Guide for your child(ren).
Summer Safety Tips for Kids. Balancing Freedom and Safety
As summer approaches, kids across America will be spending more time outdoors – roaming the neighborhood and exploring nature. Most parents want their children to experience the same freedom we did as kids, but we all know times have changed. So, how can parents strike a balance between keeping their kids safe while giving them freedom to spread their wings this summer?
Dr. Amy Tiemann is editor-in-chief of the new book Courageous Parents, Confident Kids: Letting Go So You
Both Can Grow and she’s also the North Carolina center director for Kidpower, an organization that teaches kids to be successful in learning and practicing personal safety, confidence, self-protection and advocacy skills. The skills taught by Kidpower help participants prevent or stop most bullying, molestation, assault and abduction.
According to Dr. Tiemann, we can and should give our kids the freedom to participate in outdoor play that is tailored to their match level of development and responsibility. In order to do this, first parents and kids need to be clear on the ground rules:
Kidpower Safety Rules for Children when They Are on their Own
I will tell my parents where I am going, and I will check in with them if the plan changes.
Most people are good. This means most strangers are good.
A stranger is just someone I don’t know and can look like anybody.
The rules are different when I am with an adult who is taking care of me and when I am on my own.
When I am on my own, my job is to check first with the adult in charge before I let a stranger get close to me, talk to me, or give me anything.
If I am old enough to be out on my own without an adult to ask, it is safer to be where there are other people close by to get help if I need it.
I do not give personal information to a stranger or to someone who makes me feel uncomfortable.
It is OK to get help from strangers if an emergency is happening to me, and there is no one close by that I know.
My job is to check first with the adult in charge before I go anywhere with anyone (a stranger or someone I know). I will tell the adult in charge where I am going, who will be with me, and what I will be doing.
I will have a safety plan for how to get help anywhere I go.
If anything happens that makes me scared or uncomfortable, I will tell my parents or another adult who can help me.
To Be Able to Follow These Rules, Children Need to Practice these Kidpower Skills
How to stand and walk with awareness and confidence
How to move out of reach from someone approaching them
How to walk away from a stranger without waiting even if that person is being very nice
How to check first even when someone says not to
How to get help from a busy or insensitive adult if the child is lost or scared
How to make noise, run, and get to safety in case of an emergency
What to say and do if a stranger approaches them at home
Parents Need to Follow Ground Rules as Well
Stay in communication with other parents who are watching your children, and don’t assume the parenting style is the same as yours.
Check in before a playdate or party and don’t be afraid to ask questions and communicate your expectations about how much adult supervision will provided, and how closely the group will be watched. An awkward conversation is better than an unsafe situation!
If you are going to leave your child with other adults, designate one adult to watch over your child and then confirm they are willing to do so. Do not assume that there is “safety in numbers” during a large group gathering such as a pool party or cook-out. On the contrary, in group settings a “diffusion of responsibility” may develop when it is not clear who is in charge. It is important to do a mindful, confirmed verbal “hand off” of childcare duties in these situations, even with your own partner, family member, or childcare provider.
When parents and kids develop strong safety skills, kids can grow into more freedom and responsibility. It is well worth investing your time and attention in these strategies so that your family can have a safe and adventurous summer!
Amy Tiemann, Ph.D. is the author of Mojo Mom: Nurturing Your Self While Raising a Family and founder of the popular online resource www.Mojomom.com
These safety rules are adapted from the work of Kidpower founder and Courageous Parents, Confident Kids contributor Irene van der Zande. For more information on Kidpower safety principles and personal safety training for kids and adults, visit www.Kidpower.org
Signs of Teen Depression:
TEEN DEPRESSION AND WHAT TO WATCH FOR
Does Your 8 Year Old Have a Criminal Record or Have They Filed For Bankruptcy?
We have seen the commercials about identity theft, read the alerts and hopefully taken the necessary steps to protect our financial information. RTK takes the safety and security of your privacy and personal information very seriously, and we are proud to have received the Trustwave certificate of security.
But did you know one of the leading victims of identity theft is our children? We didn’t either. Our children are given social security numbers at birth, but may not attempt to use them until applying for a driver’s license at age 15, or even later when applying for a job or credit. Apparently they are very attractive to
thieves, because no one is monitoring our children’s credit reports, and it may be 15-18 years or more before the damage is even known! Scary. Most of you know that you are able to obtain a free copy of your credit report from each of the three reporting bureaus each year. Mike Young, Partner at Parrish, Pulleyn Young in Cary, suggests requesting a free report for your children every four months from a different credit reporting agency. This way, you will stay on top of things, without spending a nickel doing so. If you’d like to obtain more information on this or related topics, contact Mike at firstname.lastname@example.org
For the three major reporting agencies, visit: